Drunk speech tester

#!/usr/bin/perl use CGI; print < Drunk speech tester EOF #

#replace 's' or 'ss' with 'sh' - once per word.
#	Oh, also you'd have to check for any accidental 'shit's, of course.
#
#sometimes repeat short words - once per sentence
#	Yesh, althought it'sh, it'sh, it'sh mildly amushing anyway.
#
#add random *hic*
#
#occasional words in randomly shouty capitals
#

# #EOF my $qw = new CGI; if ($qw->param('speech')) { my $wordcount = 0; my $hic = 0; my $repeat = 0; my $shout = 0; my $output = ""; foreach my $word (split /\s+/, $qw->param('speech')) { my $origword = $word; $wordcount ++; if ($word =~ /ss/) { $word =~ s/ss/sh/; } elsif ($word =~ /s[^h]/) { $word =~ s/s([^h])/sh\1/; } if ($word =~ /shit/) { $word = $origword; } if (($word =~ /[aeiou]/) && (int(rand(8)) == 1)) { $word =~ s/([aeiou])/\1\1\1/s; } if ((int(rand(9)) == 1) && ($hic < ($wordcount / 4))) { $hic ++; $output .= " *hic* "; } if (int(rand(8)) == 2) { $word = uc($word); } # if ((int(rand(7)) == 1) && (length($word) < 5) && !$repeat) { # $output .= ", ".$word . ", ". $word . ","; # $repeat = 1; # } $output .= " " . $word; } print "

$output

"; } print < EOF